This past weekend has shown me that, as a person, I am truly a work in progress. Sometimes I do fool myself into thinking that I have completely overcome a good deal of my issues, but often I am gently reminded that, like any disease, I may never actually be rid of them. While I am more confident and stronger than I've ever been, there are times where my insecurities come flooding back and I am engulfed with despair. Thankfully, I am able to see that these feelings are not a product of my current place in life. Unfortunately, I believe I will have recurrences like these for the rest of my life and the most important impact they will have is regarding how I choose to deal with them.
I am strong enough to say now that I have been damaged by past relationships and that a lot of that damage is because I chose to blind myself to the other person's faults. I so desperately wanted to be loved that I chose to ignore the signals that things were not quite right. Now when the insecurities surface, I am able to recognize that they have nothing to do with the present day and that I cannot hold anyone up to the standards that I once allowed myself to be judged by.
There are times when I do feel as if I have a lot more work to do on myself and a whole lot more to learn. I don't believe that God wants us to become stagnant; He made us as people who should continuously grow and move forward. So I begin and end each day with a prayer of thanks. Each day I am blessed with the opportunity to grow and improve and at the end of each day I am thankful for whatever amount of progress I have made, whether it be visible or not.
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