Admission...to tissueville.....

I have really got to research movies more thoroughly before I buy one. I recently bought the movie Admission thinking it would be hilarious since it starred Tina Fey and Paul Rudd. The comedy and chemistry between the two is really great but for me the movie overloaded my emotions (in the movie's defense however, that is not a very difficult thing to do for me). I won't spoil the plot line for anyone who may want to see this movie but I will say that the dramatic portion stole my heart. I seemed to teeter between giggles, bated breath and full on tears. In the end, it was truly uplifting and really does make me wanna hug me kids and tell them just how great they are but that would just embarrass them so it really would be a win-win situation. I am not giving this movie a bad review in any way, shape or form. It is a pleasant yet awkward surprise to watch a movie that not only entertains but also causes me to take a second look at how I see myself.

Oh, what a time it has been.....

I'm afraid we left the land of normal so long ago that I have completely forgotten what it looks like. I should probably preface the rest of this post with a very large apology. I have been ill with several different ailments, still raising autistic teenagers on my own, taking care of my blind and disable mother, trying to go to college and work 8 hours a day. One person can only take so much and quite frankly I have taken way more than I should.

I am so sick of people who think that I can deal with my children like one would normal children. GUESS WHAT, MY GIRLS ARE NOT NORMAL!!!!!! We don't treat that like it's a bad thing either, but instead address it as the fact that their brains work differently and they hear and see and feel things in their own way. Yes, right now my 15 year old feels compelled to express her feelings through inappropriate language and yes I am trying to deal with this but you can't expect things to happen overnight. One thing an ASD parent learns relatively quickly is that you can tell you child something 50 times and if their brain isn't in exactly the right mode, they are just not going to get it. If you're lucky maybe the stars are aligned on that 51st try. 

What is making me so frustrated is that I have worked for a long time to create a balance that works for my family and one person seems to not realize how much he is upsetting that balance. The additional stress this is causing is part of what is keeping me sick a lot and I just can't take it any more. It is time to go back to just me and the girls and not worry about adding anyone to our lives for quite some time. I can see now that I have just been fooling myself into thinking that this particular person wanted to be a part of our lives.