I'm afraid we left the land of normal so long ago that I have completely forgotten what it looks like. I should probably preface the rest of this post with a very large apology. I have been ill with several different ailments, still raising autistic teenagers on my own, taking care of my blind and disable mother, trying to go to college and work 8 hours a day. One person can only take so much and quite frankly I have taken way more than I should.
I am so sick of people who think that I can deal with my children like one would normal children. GUESS WHAT, MY GIRLS ARE NOT NORMAL!!!!!! We don't treat that like it's a bad thing either, but instead address it as the fact that their brains work differently and they hear and see and feel things in their own way. Yes, right now my 15 year old feels compelled to express her feelings through inappropriate language and yes I am trying to deal with this but you can't expect things to happen overnight. One thing an ASD parent learns relatively quickly is that you can tell you child something 50 times and if their brain isn't in exactly the right mode, they are just not going to get it. If you're lucky maybe the stars are aligned on that 51st try.
What is making me so frustrated is that I have worked for a long time to create a balance that works for my family and one person seems to not realize how much he is upsetting that balance. The additional stress this is causing is part of what is keeping me sick a lot and I just can't take it any more. It is time to go back to just me and the girls and not worry about adding anyone to our lives for quite some time. I can see now that I have just been fooling myself into thinking that this particular person wanted to be a part of our lives.
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