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I really don't know what to title this post; I am so exhausted and frustrated that I can't even begin to think of something.

I feel like I'm living in my own private hell right now. Elizabeth, who just turned 13, is causing life to be very difficult. Her hormones are wreaking havoc on her emotions and autism and it literally takes all I have to deal with it. She is more defiant than ever, wants to control everything, curses, throws things and refuses to go to school anymore. I am at my wits end as to what I should do. I try to remain calm and talk things out with her but sometimes it's nearly impossible so I do end up blowing up and yelling. She is right when she says that I don't understand her, but she doesn't realize that it isn't from lack of trying. It is very difficult to see things from her perspective because I never know which perspective she is seeing them from; is it the teenager who can be mature and wants to do grown up things or is it the kid who still loves her stuffed dolls and toddler cartoons. Either way, each one does not rationally see things.

I never thought I would be raising my kids alone or that they would have the issues that they do. I feel like I have failed my children because I can't always accommodate their needs or wants and that just compounds my frustration. I think that after this momentary breakdown I am going to have to reassess everything and find out what more I can do to improve not only things at home but life in general for my girls.l