How do you let a dream go?

All of my life I have had the dream of having an amazing, loving marriage that made me feel complete. Now I have to consider letting that dream go.

Needless to say, my marriage to the girls' father was in no way truly happy or loving or anything like a dream. I felt I didn't have much choice but to marry him considering past actions. But once he passed away I thanked God that I might actually have the opportunity to find the love I've always wanted and have the kind of marriage that I wanted.

Now, however, I am left to wonder if that dream will stay just that, a dream that I will never realize. 

I have found love with a great and amazing man and I am thankful for that. The sad part is that his marriage to his children's mother has soured him on the idea of ever marrying again, I believe. While he has said that if marriage is something I really want then he is willing, but I don't just want someone to be willing to get married because it's something that I really want. I want someone to love me so completely that they can't imagine not being married to me. It is true that it is possible to have an absolutely amazing relationship, and one that lasts for a lifetime, without the convention of marriage. I just never thought that that was how I was going to end up living my life.

So now I am at an awful crossroads. Do I let go of my dream and just play house for the rest of my life or do I let go of my love and be alone for the rest of my life? Sounds easy, doesn't it? I never really thought about whether or not I was going to have to let go of certain things just to have something that is equally important. Either way I am left with a loss and I wish it were easy to reconcile myself to one or the other.

For now, my heart hurts but, as it is my fatal flaw, I will soldier on in silence and bear the pain I feel that I brought on myself. I guess it really was silly of me to think that I would have all of the things I've dreamed of but never had.