New perspectives

Thanks to someone I once knew I've been able to gain a new perspective of myself and it is incredibly helpful.

I care too much about people who really are not a part of my life. Part of that caring extends to feeling like I need to fix people. For the past several months I have been conversing with a person that I've known for some time. This person has had many troubles in life and I feel sorry for him/her. As is typical for my personality type, I have tried to support this person emotionally and help them move forward but this particular case has shown that my good intentions are very capable of being misplaced.

When I was recently feeling low I sent this person a message hoping to find a little understanding and maybe some comfort. To my dismay, this person did not answer my message and has kind of blown me off. To make things more interesting, the person messaged me earlier to ask how I was doing and told me how bad a weekend they had and how they are tired of certain situations which they allow to happen. That kinda just blew things out of the water for me. I would think that if I've been there for you when you've felt so incredibly low that the very least you could do is be there for me.

This is exactly the kind of behavior that I am sick and tired of having to deal with. People don't deserve how great a friend I am and the things I am willing to do for them. Now I do have to be honest and say that I had developed some feelings for this person and that has influenced my ire a little more than usual.

I guess the point of this story is that I have learned to no longer be so giving of myself to others. It's one thing to help someone in need, but it is another thing to actually feel like you've given someone a piece of your soul. Part of my new perspective has been realizing that I am still so desperate to be in a relationship, that I am willing to do almost anything with the hope that the person will fall in love with me. From here on out I am not selling myself short anymore. I have proven that I don't need a man in my life but that I would like to have someone to share my life with. There is now a very clear line drawn as to what I am willing to do for so-called friends and this current incident is going to serve as a reminder that I deserve so much more from people than what I currently get.